Updated: Jul 24, 2020
It’s OK to Make Mistakes..
Forget the Mistake..
Learn the Lesson..!!
This is applicable to all of us..
"We all know this but how much do we teach our children and in what way do we teach ?"
There is a simple way:
When Children does any mistake, before you get angry and start shouting, tell them it's OK and tell them on how to correct the mistake highlighting the lessons out of it.. If not at that moment but after you control your anger you can teach them the lessons from the mistake.
You may ask "how to control my anger when my child is done a mistake despite saying many times and when I'm in middle of some important work?"
Take a Deep Breath and start counting 1 - 10 mindfully to control your anger. This helps a lot..!!
When you look at them, know it mindfully that we appear like a giant or a monster to them at that instant. I hope none of us want to appear like a monster to our own children right?
But "what if the children repeat the mistake often despite we being kind and nice?"
You would have to bring out the authoritative behaviour out of yourself and raise voice to bring the situation under control. This can be done only and only after 3-5 times of their repetitive mistakes. Here, again, be mindful that you only have a firm voice and not aggressive voice or aggressive behaviour. This is to show them that they need to obey you. It is OK to be firm and correct your own child before someone else does it or points finger at your child.
"What if we said something unconsciously and we knew it's bad, it might have hurt the child?"
As soon as you realise, apologies with them and tell them you feel bad for doing so.. Also if possible you can say the reason why you did like that.. Remember to mention that your child's behaviour made you sad. This is a very powerful statement that you are letting your child know your feelings and to make your child connect with you emotionally. No child would want to make their parent sad, especially the children under the age of 10 years. Hence, it is important that you nurture valuable thoughts and emotions in your child at this age to bond with you for lifetime.
This is called "Partnering" with your child !!
This way, Children will also realise "It's Ok to do mistakes". When parents can apologies with Children, Children can also apologies. Most importantly they will open up their emotions and justify the reason behind their behaviour.
Saying "Sorry" is a big deal for many children and as parents we cannot accept the fact that our children do not apologies.. So, help them understand that saying "Sorry" is not a big deal.
Your constant apologising makes your child feel, saying "Sorry" should be the instant response for anything that he/she does a mistake. This helps the child in a long run for their life be it his/her Personal Life or Professional Life.
Keep in mind, children are the great imitators and learn fast from others especially parents.
Your repetitive behaviour will always backfire and often! May it be your good or bad behaviour. Choose wisely on what kind of behaviour do you want to see in your child. It is all in your hands and mind. Later do not blame the children for misbehaving with you or elders.
To conclude, give children chances to make mistakes and let them learn from it. Only after giving them enough chances and still they don't get it, our authoritative personality should be shown once in a while to remind them you are their parent and they are not your parent!!
Become a Mindful Parent to grow up a Mindful Child !!
Podcast in English:
Podcast in Tamil: