Updated: Jun 19, 2021
Is your child adamant?
Is your child not under your control?
Is your child not eating properly?
Is your child addicted to mobile devices?
Is your child always playful, not willing to sit & study in one place?
Is your child aggressive most of the time?
Then your child might be undergoing sensory(touch) deprivation – the lack of positive parental touch in their early childhood.
Try “Touch and Connect” therapy that I learnt and I follow.
Let me brief you about it…
Did you know a child’s first experience to the surroundings happens through touch?
A child’s touch sense is developed as early as 16 weeks in the mother’s womb and it keeps developing. This sense never breaks even after other senses fails in old age.
While we adults expect personal touch in many things in life, be it a gift or a message, those innocent little ones long for the literal “Personal Touch” that gives a sense of emotional connect, right?
The personal touch should be a “Positive Parental Touch” in the form of mild hugs, warm cuddles, kisses (restricted to hands, cheeks and forehead only).
Let me give the basic 5 amazing benefits of a Positive Parental Touch:
1. Brain/Emotional Growth:
Kids who get more hugs and cuddles from parents have increased mental health, balanced emotional and physical health and conscious social behaviour. They are less likely to be anxious or emotionally distressed adults. A child with a happy and calm mind would not become adamant or aggressive often.
2. Physical Growth:
Every time we touch our children, they feel more protected and safe, which builds the trust between the parents and the children. Hugging/Cuddling releases “Oxytocin” which is also known as the happy/love/bonding hormone. Oxytocin have many important effects in our bodies. One of them is Growth Stimulation that helps children grow physically and also helps in effective listening & speaking ability.
3. Eating Habits:
As Oxytocin have many benefits, it also helps in strengthening immune systems. A mild touch or a smoothing at their back may help the child to calm down before eating. Consistent touch with kind words will help the child eat faster and better. DO NOT force feed the child. If the child doesn't want to eat, leave them. Imagine if someone is going to force you to eat when you don't feel like eating, what would be your feeling? Think about it!
4. Temper/Tantrum Control:
Hugging a child can save the child from emotional crash. Again, Oxytocin calms down the stress level of the child and relieves anxiety. Many parents worry that hugging a tantrum-throwing child may encourage him/her. But No! It actually helps the child to self-regulate and emotionally settles down the child. You can also bring down the child’s temper or tantrum by kissing on his/her fore head. A forehead kiss is a sign of adoration, affection and compassion.
5. Parent-Child Bonding:
Creating a life-time Parent-Child bonding needs your time and patience to shower your love and care towards your child. Every time you touch your child, as a parent, as a creator of that little living being, be mindful that you are his/her creator and that you have an emotional connect with the child. Feel every touch with your child in a positive way and pass on the positivity to your child.
All saints and yogis believe in connecting through thoughts. Thoughts are powerful(I will talk about this in another blog/podcast). Your thoughts towards your child are more powerful and you can control your child through your thoughts. When you touch your child and connect with them through your thoughts, it is even more powerful. Remember, Parents are the Creators or Destroyers of their Child’s life. Be mindful of this fact!
While Physical touch has many benefits from a parent to a child, it is important that your touch should make the child feel loved, cared and protected and not uncomfortable. As the child starts reasoning (starts from age 3), educate the child about Good Touch and Bad Touch(I will talk about this in another blog/podcast). Your touch should always give the child a feeling of a good touch and that the child should feel comfortable to communicate to you about the bad touch anytime they may feel it (I will conduct a separate workshop for kids on this topic).
As children grow, seek their permission if you can hug them or kiss them. If they feel uncomfortable DO NOT do so but only to keep you hand on their head and bless them with your powerful good thoughts.
A 20 second positive parental hug for 20 times a day can help your child grow smarter, healthier, happier, more resilient and closer to you!!